Donkey Killers

We talked cars today. Why are all cars finished with fancy paint that scratches with the minimal contact with another car, a wall, a small rock, or almost any other object? Seriously, what are car manufacturers thinking??? Cars are finished like grand pianos, not like something that is moving around in the city every day, with people getting in and out, parking in tight spots, supermarket carts bumping into them, going over dirts and small rocks. Shouldn't cars exteriors be made of some sort of rubbery material that wouldn't get damaged from its intended use? Better yet, shouldn't all cars have proper bumpers designed for the realities of parking? Cars used to have proper bumpers (although I admit that those seemed to fall down instead of absorb minor impacts). We started looking at cars on our way to school this morning. Every single one had dings and scratches on the paint...

I proposed that we build the Poler-Weitzman car with the exterior made entirely of rubber and bumpers mounted on dampers that absorb the typical bumps of street parking. No "parking assist" system. Just bump into the other cars (that is what they will do to you anyway!). There are many product categories in which one big factory in China makes the products for most brands who just make some tweaks, e.g., mobile phones. Maybe one day most cars will be made by the same factory in China. We could then take the basics of, say, a Prius, and just change the exterior to be all rubber.

As we were arriving to school an SUV with a large grille guard drove buy. I told the kids that in Venezuela those are called mata-burros (donkey killers) and that when I was a youth we all put them on our SUVs (since we did go to forests, mountains, rivers, beaches, etc). The most hard core people had winches on their mata-burros, to be able to get themselves out of trouble if they got stock. Now, that is practical! None of this porcelain paint that today's cars have.

Boiling Frogs

To my surprise the boys were not familiar with the boiling frog phenomenon: drop a frog in boiling water and it will immediately jump away and save itself. But put it in cold water and heat the water gradually and the frog will boil to death. So, if you want to boil a live frog, heat the water gradually (or make sure the pan has a lid). At a "personal" level, beware of situations that deteriorate gradually. Every little bit might not justify a reaction, but before long you might boil to death - at least metaphorically...

Slippery Slopes

I was telling the boys about Steve Jobs' obsession with every aspect of his products - including the interiors which no customer got to see. It told them that while such extremes as making the inside of a computer look good might be considered excessive, they helped avoid "slippery slopes". They boys, to my surprise, were familiar with the expression. Once you let the inside of the computer be ugly, then maybe the part behind the cover could also be ugly. And at that point, maybe the bottom, which you rarely see, could be crapy as well... And before you know it, as Steve would put it, the product is shit!

We spoke about other slippery slopes: maybe it is not such a big deal if I don't do all my homework today or study all the material for tomorrow's exam... Maybe it is not a big deal if I eat two donuts for breakfast... Or, if I skip swim practice today... Or, break the law in some "tiny" way... But you do end up on a slippery slope and humans are not very good at defying gravity. Better to keep things Black and White. Stay on the solid and flat surfaces.

I gave the boys an example that worked for me: I used to have a hard time working out regularly and efficiently. Swimming almost worked, but I would frequently stop after half the time or skip a workout altogether. Until I joined a Masters team that trains three times per week. I decided that I would not miss a single practice. Period. Some days I don't feel like going, other days it is cold. But I know that the moment I start missing some of the practices I'll be on a slippery slope.

Information sources - and cows' milk

N mentioned this morning that calves drink a bathtub worth of milk every day. His statement generated a discussion among the three boys about the plausibility of his assertion. When I asked him for his source, he said the milk container. This got us into a conversation about sources of information and their varying degree of reliability. We felt the milk container was probably a moderately reliable source. Not as reliable as Wikipedia or the Encyclopedia Britannica, but probably more reliable than "the Internet" or your friend who heard it from a friend...

Spoke a bit about facts vs. editorial. It is important to determine whether we are reading someone's opinion (editorial) or reading the facts (news). Ideally we are getting a thoughtful opinion with the underlying facts that support it. Like in the Economist.

We agreed that if multiple sources have the same info, that is a plus, and that ideally we obtain, and understand, the facts supporting the information. Although P made the insightful statement that the world is often counter-intuitive and that sometimes things are true even though we can't quite understand why. This remind me of the process of optimizing web sites (for purchases by visitors, for example) and how one must test many variations and often the best one is not the one anyone would guess (ugly, strange). Nothing like hard data.

Diesel & Coffee

I was in Spain last week. I had two incidents that were very telling of Spanish culture. I told the kids about them this morning... The first one was when I returned my rental car to Hertz. Normally I fill the tank before returning rentals but this time I didn't. I knew walking into Hertz that I would have to pay extra for the fuel. The attendant said "you filled the tank, right?". When I said no she was alarmed. "But, we'll charge you double the price per liter. Please go and fill the tank". I said it was OK. I would pay the higher price. "No, but we also charge a 17 Euro refueling fee". We went back and forth but she was so insistant that I took the car, drove to the nearest fuel station and filled the tank! Have you ever had that kind of reaction in the United States? I haven't...

The next day I asked for a coffee at the breakfast restaurant (breakfast was included with my room). It was terrible coffee. I figured the least I could do while in Spain was to drink decent coffee so I went to the front desk and ask where I could get a proper coffee. They said the hotel's bar had an espresso machine so I went there. After preparing my coffee the bartender asked me if I wanted some food. I said no as I was going to take the coffee to the breakfast restaurant. I only came to the bar for a proper coffee. How much do I owe you? Don't worry about it, she said. If your breakfast is included then you might as well get a good coffee from me!

Both the Hertz and the hotel employee were obviously more concerned with me than with their employer. And this was not an issue of providing good "customer service". It was an issue of interpersonal relations: they were relating with me at a person-to-person level, rather than an employee-to-customer level. I find this common in Spain and rare in the US.

A New Chapter?

Last week I assembled a compilation of the posts that I liked most from this blog and published them as a Kindle Book. It is amazing how easy the process of creating a Kindle book was!

I priced it at 99 cents so that you can all afford it :-). Seriously, if you like it give it a good review. Who knows? Maybe my next career will be as a writer!

This week I started an experiment: writing a short science fiction book with the boys one mile at a time. Each kid is a different character in the novel and I am the narrator. I set the stage and move the story along and ask them to fill in their dialogues and actions. I haven't decided if I'll publish it bit by bit as it is created or if I'll wait to have the whole thing done. I'll probably experiment for a few more weeks before deciding. For now, I'll share their characters' names: Dr. Peter Zarmin, Jim Garfunkel, and Ford Freeman. Can you guess who is who?

Negotiate the Price Last

One of the start-ups that I am advising is trying to hire its first employee. The candidate said he was making a certain amount of cash in his current job and would like to make more if he changed jobs. The start-up's founder told him they could do that and offered him a specific salary. The problem? This candidate has not yet decided that he wants to work at the start-up. So what? Well, he might use our offer to negotiate a better salary at his current job, then ask us for even more. Or, he might think of this offer as a starting point and ask for more once he is ready to take the job. A better approach is to first focus on getting the candidate to want to join the start-up (without getting into the specifics of the compensation, other than communicating that, if both sides want to make it happen, we are confident we'll find a way). Once the candidate wants to join, then the start-up can find out what the is least amount of cash that will be necessary to hire the candidate (within reason of course) and try to agree to that. BTW: If the cash is lower than market rate most start-ups are better off compensating for that with a generous equity package. But it is hard to go there after you've offered a high cash comp.

So what does this have to do with the kids? It will be a while before they are hiring anyone :-). But the same principle applies when selling anything (not just a job at a company). For example, A recently sold his iPad, and P might want to sell his old iPhone when the new one comes out. Imagine you have a potential buyer who is interested but hasn't yet decided they want what you are selling. Maybe they are undecided between an iPad and a Kindle Fire, or between an iPhone and a Blackberry. No point in negotiating the price until the buyer has decided that they want to buy what you are selling (assuming you can agree on price). If you tell the buyer what your lowest price would be before he has decided that he wants what your are selling he will go to other sellers and try to get a lower price from them. If he does you might be out of luck. If instead you wait until the buyer is "ready", he might get final prices from other sellers and be ready to close when you give him your best price.

Subsidized Pricing

The big news on the tech world this week was Amazon's launch of a $199 tablet and a $79 kindle. I mentioned to the boys that an analyst estimated the tablet costs Amazon $250, so they will lose $50 on each one they sell. I asked them why they thought Amazon would do that. P thought it was to achieve critical mass and generate network effects (I guess he was listening the other day when we spoke about operating systems!). I said that was probably not the case as Amazon's tablet will run on Android, which already has critical mass. I said it was probably because they can sell more than $50 worth of books, music, videos and apps to each tablet buyer. We also thought of another reason: this aggressive price will force other tablet manufacturers to lower their prices thus accelerating the growth of the entire market for tablet computers. Since Amazon sells content to customers with competitive tablets then a larger overall market of tablets also benefits Amazon.

Another interesting element of the $79 kindle is that it shows ads on its screen saver and home screen. The ad-free version costs $30 more. I would love to know how much Amazon makes on those ads...

Marketing Math

C joined us in the car today so I put her on the spot and asked her to share something with us. She has been preparing an after-school program for kids who want to participate in math competitions. Yesterday she went to all the 6th grade classrooms in our kids' school to tell the kids about it. She gave the kids a problem as an example and asked those who would come to the first session to try to solve it. Afterwards one of the math teachers approached her and told her the problem was too hard and the kids would be discouraged. So C is worried about it. P thought it was good that it was challenging because that way it would attract the kids who took math seriously and were good at it. A said the problem with that approach is that some kids might turn out to be good with a bit of training and practice but would not get to that if they were discouraged with the first problem. I said the good thing about the specific problem she gave them is that a) it was a fun one, and b) kids wouldn't know if they got it right or wrong until C explained the answer. Furthermore, it is easy to take a stab at this problem, so that even if most kids got it wrong, I doubt they would get discouraged. We also discussed that she could have given them several problems (some easy some hard) to cater to all levels - and to quickly find out the level of the kids.

I mentioned to the boys that companies often face a similar challenge: in such areas as dieting, exercising, language training, gardening, etc., companies often start with easy steps to get customers hooked, and only move to harder more meaningful challenges after the customer is committed. Of course, some companies never go beyond the easy stuff, thus keeping their customers "happy" even if the results remain elusive...

What is the problem C gave the 6th graders? If an ant is standing on one of the corners of a cube, what is the shortest route it should take to walk to the opposite corner?

The Sky is Falling

An old satellite is falling to Earth today. The boys didn't understand why a satellite would fall (since satellites just use gravity to circle the Earth). I don't know either. Maybe satellites use their own power to make small corrections and stay in the correct orbit and this one can't do that anymore. Maybe the orbit deteriorates gradually over the years until the satellite falls... But what I am really wondering about is whether the scientists who first launched the satellite carefully planned for it to fall into the Earth in 20+ years, or didn't worry too much about what would happen in such a distant future.

I mentioned to the boys that I wouldn't be surprised if it was the later, as we rarely do much planning for the very long term. Maybe they thought something like "Heck, in 20+ years we'll have super rocket robots that will pick up old satellites...".

When I did my second start-up my CTO suggested that we use Oracle as our database (N asked what a database was so I explained). Knowing that the licensing cost would be over $100K per year I pushed back. But then my CTO came back with a "great" deal from Oracle: The software would be free the first year, cost 10% the second, 20% the third, and full price afterwards. My reaction? In 3+ years the company will either have been sold, gone public, or gone under, so lets do it. Guess what? The 3 years came and went and the company was still a medium sized private company for which $100k+/year in licensing fees was a lot. Ooopppss.

Don't Pass the Hot Potatoe - and cows

I sometimes leave a sweater (or two) inside my car. And maybe a few other things such as a hat or glasses (yes, I admit it, I am guilty!). Since my car is a Mini, the boys need to move my stuff to have room for themselves. P complained today that N would frequently move my stuff from his seat to P's. N argued he needed to move my stuff to seat down. I acknowledged the situation and asked how else they could deal with it so that instead of making it someone else's problem they would actually solve the problem. P suggested calling me to come move my stuff. I said that wasn't a great approach as they sometimes got to the car before I was anywhere near. A then said that when he found my stuff on his seat he would put glasses and hats where he knew I moved them to (the glove compartment) and sweaters on my seat for me to deal with. I agreed that was a good approach: he was solving the problems he could and passing those he couldn't to someone who could, i.e., me.

We are frequently in similar situations in which the easiest thing to do is to transfer our problem to someone else. That is rarely the right approach. If you can you should solve the problems rather than move them around. And if you can't solve them, at least move them to someone who can.

What about the cows? Ask N. He claims that is what we spoke about!

Don't Lecture Me

I told the boys this morning about a great program I heard on the radio last week. It is the story of some physics professors who realized their students were not learning the basics concepts of physics - even though they were doing well in the tests. Long story short their conclusion was that lectures were a very poor teaching method. If you think about it a bit this is pretty obvious. The term lecture comes from the Latin lectura, reading. From before the printing press, when someone had to read stuff out loud because you couldn't just get the book. Forget the impact of computers, the Internet, iPads, and smart phones. The educational system has yet to adapt to the printing press! Otherwise, what are professors still lecturing students when students could simply read the material on their own? Besides being medieval, lectures have other problems: research has shown that we learn better when we participate. When we are active. Research has also shown that our short term memory is simply not equipped to retain an hours' worth of facts after facts. And the list goes own...

Back to the physics professors, and, btw, I believe they did this 10+ years ago, they asked students to read the material (at their own pace) before each class (duh!). They used classes for problem solving in the following way: they wrote a problem on the board (or screen), they showed three possible solutions, and they asked student to pick one. Then students had to find nearby students with different answers and explain to them why they choose the answer they did. After a few minutes of this the students voted again. This second time around most students got the answer right. A couple key points:

- Students were much better at explaining the solution to other students than professors. Why? The students just learned the material. They could relate to the doubts and challenges of the students who didn't yet understand things. They also had fresh in their minds the process by which they got to understand the material. On the other hand, professors had learned the material so long ago they couldn't relate to the notion of not understanding it, much less remember exactly which doubts they had when they learned it or how they went about understanding the issues.

- The students that had the right answer normally convinced those that didn't - as oppose to the other way around. They had better logic on their side and more confidence. Plus many of the students with the wrong answer knew they probably had the wrong answer.

Some of the critics of this approach point out that the traditional lecture is more efficient and allows more material to be covered. Yet in the age of Google & Wikipedia, who cares about covering lots of material? All that maters is for student to grasp the key concepts and know how to apply them. The rest that can find online...

The kids could totally relate to all this and agreed the same applied to their classes. I wonder how much longer it will take for education to adapt to the development of the printing press!

Keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times...

A & P are at a retreat so N is getting the single child royal treatment. He loves seating in the front with me :-). N noticed the funky turning signal of the car in front of us. This reminded me of when I used to stick my hand out to indicate that I would turn. I can't remember if the reason was that cars had no turning signals or that drivers didn't pay attention to them. But I am pretty sure we used to signal with our hands. N thought this would be very dangerous. I said it was, but not necessarily for the reasons he had in mind. For example, my dad once had someone try to steal his watch (in Venezuela where I grew up). My dad always told us not to argue or fight with thieves but to just give them whatever they wanted. Yet he pulled back his arm, pushed the thief away and managed to get away with his watch. Similarly when another thief entered our house (armed with a stone) and asked my father for his watch my father managed to keep the watch. Why? We act differently under pressure than when we rationally and calmly plan proper behavior. N can relate very well to this...

BTW: eventually a third thief put a gun to my dad's head and that was the end of the watch...Probably best not to wear fancy watches at all!

My Favorite Day of the Week? Thursday!

Last Monday we spoke about favorite and least-favorite days of the week (Thursday and Sunday respectively for me). N hates Mondays, with the full week ahead. P thinks Tuesdays are even worst, because at least on Mondays you get to see your friend whom you haven't seen for a couple of days. I told them that for me, the anticipation of something good or bad is often more powerful that the thing itself. That is why I hate Sundays, particularly in the evening, knowing that the next day is a Monday but I love Thursday, knowing that the next day is the beginning of the weekend :-).

We then spoke about other things for which the anticipation matters more than the thing itself: a tough exam, a dentist appointment, a sports competition, a party... The takeaway? Enjoy the anticipation of positive events as much as possible. If possible, you might even want to postpone or delay the event to have more time to enjoy the build up. On the flip side, try not to think about the negative events because they are likely not as bad as the build up to them.

Smelling the Neighborhood

Last rainy season, after several days in a row of getting my newspaper drenched (even inside two plastic bags) I had decided that I would let the subscription expire and start reading it on an iPad. The moment came this week but I am having second thoughts. The reason? I like walking out of my house at 7am to pick up the day's paper. That is the moment when I normally realize if the day is warm or cold. It is some weekdays the only time I set foot on my street (as I otherwise mostly drive in and out of my house). It is sometimes the occasion when I interact with a neighbor that walks by with his dog. I love walking into the typical cool & misty SF morning...

A few years from now physical newspapers will disappear altogether. Think about the waste of all that paper & ink, the delivery, and the disposal. Every day. It doesn't make sense with the technology that is fast becoming mainstream. To a lesser extent the same can be said about physical books. Books are not as bad since they have a longer "shelf-live". Still... P said he still prefers to read physical books, and N said he wanted a tablet with pretend physical pages. But there is no way around it. Those who enjoy physical books, papers and magazines should enjoy them while the can. They are a "luxury" and will soon become collectors items. This reminds me of an article I read a few days ago (in my printed paper) about car collectors concern with the disappearance of cars with standard transmission. They worry that no one in tomorrow's generation will be able to drive a collectors car. I am glad I taught the boys how to drive standard this summer on the beaches of Brazil :-).

Back to my newspaper dilema. The boys had a suggestion: every morning I can grab my ipad, walk out to our street where the printed newspaper would normall be, smell the neighborhood, and hit the download button.

If you could have dinner with anyone...

My brother read my post from yesterday and is wondering who would I pay to have dinner with. So I asked the kids today who would they choose if they could have dinner with anyone. P immediately said Douglas Adams. He is a hard core fan. P would ask him what he meant with some of the things he wrote in the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. N would like to meet Jim Carey and ask him for some acting tips. A would have liked to meet Freddy Mercury and asked him how he dealt with being so famous. So, we covered literature, acting and music. Not bad.

What about me? Since we are talking about anyone dead or alive I would choose Leonardo Da Vinci. What would I ask him? I would show him the modern world and ask him what the next few inventions should be. I bet he would come up with some pretty awesome stuff :-).

Dinner with Obama

I mentioned to the boys that I got "invited" to a dinner with Obama. The catch? The required $35K donation. N was very excited and at the same time very disappointed that I wouldn't go. A asked me an interesting question: how much would I pay to go. I wasn't sure... Not much as I've been disappointed with Obama and have no interest in contributing to his political campaign - not to mention that "having dinner with celebrities" is not really my thing. I explained to the boys that Obama would probably raise $1MM towards his reelection campaign with this dinner. And that his target was to raise one billion dollars. The boys were surprised by this. What would all that money be for? TV, Radio, Newspapers, direct marketing, etc. etc.... But, asked P, shouldn't he just be focused on being a good president rather than on raising money to run again? Ahhh, to be young and naive!

Lindbergh vs. Nungesser

There is an article in today's paper about a French historian who believes a French aviator, Charles Nungesser, actually beat Charles Lindbergh in crossing the Atlantic. The attempt took place two weeks before Lindbergh's flight but Nungesser went missing and was presumed to have crashed on the ocean. The historian just uncovered some coast guard records that point to him having crashed on the mainland of the US - thus having beaten Lindberg, even if he died in the process... The reason they were all trying at the same time is that there was a prize of $25,000 (1919 dollars) for the first one to accomplish the crossing.

I mentioned to the boys that prizes such as this one (and the X Prize, the Netflix challenge, Darpa's challenges, etc.) have spurred great innovations. I asked them why they thought that prizes were a good approach. P said that the competitive nature of prizes got people trying really hard. A said that the prize sponsor only had to pay for success, as opposed to taking the risk of funding someone who might fail. I agreed these were key factors and added a third one: a prize of $25K might generate a combined investment by all the participants of hundreds of thousands or even millions of dollars. Prize money has a multiplicative effect.

I asked the boys for suggestion on the W Prize. A prize they would compete on which C & I would fund. Nothing viable came out but I think there might be something there...

There are no original ideas

We were brainstorming today about the kids' middle school science projects. Since P has a microscope I suggested he do something that used it. I thought he could take samples throughout the school, e.g., water fountain, cafeteria, biology lab, and see in his microscopes what bacteria and other things they had. We all got talking about this idea a bit then N said P wouldn't do it. Why, I asked. Because it was not his idea N said. I told them that few ideas were entirely original. Most are based on existing ideas, then modified, and, most importantly, well executed. What matter was not whether P had had the original idea or whether I had suggested it. But what P would do with it: make it his own, refine it, execute it. I gave them the example of my first start-up, which was the first company that measured web traffic. The inspiration for the company came from someone else' suggestion (back in 1993) that the Internet needed the equivalent of supermarket scanners to track everything. I combined that, with some existing analytics tool to create a company that was original on its own. The same can be said for most of the "new" products and services that we are familiar: the iPhone, Google, FaceBook, etc.

I think the got it, although P then told me about his own original idea for a science project :-). I liked it even better than mine!

Don't Do Anything Halfhearted

Back to school for A & P. N starts on Thursday. I thought today was an appropriate day to tell the boys about my recent commitment to do things wholeheartedly or not at all. In reviewing what was working well and what was not in my professional life I concluded I needed to eliminate those things I was doing halfheartedly. The boys don't have the luxury of eliminating some of the things they are doing halfheartedly, e.g., some classes, piano practice, but I made the case that if you are forced to do something, you might as well do it wholeheartedly. Why? By giving it your best you often discover that something you thought was boring or uninteresting can actually be fun. You can make it so. Otherwise, you are not giving that activity a chance. Also, when we only devote part of our attention to something and, for example, read or draw something unrelated in a class (or check our email during a meeting) we are actually kidding ourselves into thinking we are making better use of our time. The reality, at least most of the times, is that we are not less bored and don't really accomplish much else. All we are doing is a crappy job at more than one thing at a time!

I know this is easier said than done and it takes some discipline, so some "tricks" might help. For example, suppose you have a lousy teacher, rather than "check out" form the class and daydream or draw, maybe you can have some fun challenging the teacher. The teacher might not like it, and it might even get you in more trouble than just checking out, but you will probably get more out of it - and have a better time.

On Being Helpful...

I have a relative, who shall remain nameless, who can't see someone struggling with something without trying to help. That is often a great thing and he does help we he can. But, he sometimes tries to help even we he can't and in so doing makes the situation worse. I'll give an example: I am very tech savvy, he is not. I was struggling to figure out the navigation system of a rented car and he couldn't help himself from trying to do it himself. But rather than helping me, he got in my - trying things that I had already tried or that were simply wrong. I don't mean to say that we should let the "experts" alone and not contribute on matters in which we know less. Sometimes you need to be ignorant about something to view it in a new creative way, My point is that when we see someone struggling, we should fight the frequent urge to try to take over the challenge and address it ourselves - even if we are in no better position (or even a worst one) to do it. What can we do? How about offering specific help, such as "do you want me to hold the manual for you?", or "do you want me to call someone and ask for help?". Or, if you believe you have specific information the person is missing, you could share it politely, e.g., "Have you tried the Red cable on the top instead of the bottom".

Another related issue is when too many people try to help at once. The poor person who is struggling has to deal with a cacophony of voiced giving him contradictory recommendations. This can be particularly bad when the struggle is related to hearing something, which obviously is nos imposible to hear on top of all the advice. Why did I discuss this topic? Yesterday I was trying to put the buggy inside the balsa that takes us across the Cunhau River. It is best to go in reverse to make the exit from the balsa easier. I was struggling with the buggy and couldn't understand what the balseiro was telling me. I knew he wanted me to move the buggy, but I couldn't figure out where to. As I was using all my concentration powers to understand his Portuguese, one of the boys started telling me (rather loudly) to leave the buggy where it was. In so doing he made it harder for me to hear the balseiro and wasn't helpful - even though he obviously had the best of intentions.

I think it is human nature to try to "take over" when someone is struggling with something. Reminds me of the scene in the movie Airplane in which a passenger becomes hysterical and the other passenger start taking turns trying to calm her down - until you see a line of people with ever larger weapons...

Adjusting Plans

One of my favorite features of GPS Navigation systems is the automatic route recalculation they do if you take a wrong turn: "recalculating route". It takes the stress out of making a mistake because the navigation system quickly gives you a new route from your new location. Sure, you might have lost a few minutes, but that is rarely an issue. Humans are not as good at constantly recalculating routes...

Yesterday we were planning for me to take the kite gear to the kite center in the buggy, then return the buggy to its owner, then walk back to the house so that we could all walk to the kite center. At the last minute we decided to have A come with me in case the buggy broke down. We also got delayed so that by the time we were returning the buggy, C and the other boys were already leaving the house and walking to the kite center. It would have then made the most sense for A to stay at the kite center rather than walk back and forth to the house with me, but we had failed to "recalculate" our plan and A had not changed into his bathing suit before leaving the house. Not necessarily a huge deal, A had to walk an extra half hour, but this lack of adjusting plans when I change them at the last moment sometimes gets me in bigger troubles. What made perfect sense before, no longer makes sense after a minor adjustment, and we fail to recognize the need to "recalculate" until it is too late. We take great care in making our plans but then fail to grasp how a last minute change might totally ruin them. Not sure there is an easy answer to this other than being vigilant to the implications of seemingly small changes to our well thought out plans.

You Might be Surprised What You get by Just Asking

We are traveling in the North East of Brazil. Yesterday we rented a beach buggy. Unfortunately the buggy is not quite to the standards of Hertz... We got it with almost no fuel and were at risk of running out (as there is no fuel station in our town). The tide was low so we decided to cross the river to the sandbar to kite a bit before dealing with the fuel situation. On the balsa (barge) across we were joined by another buggy, but this one had a tour guide as a driver. I know that some buggys carry a plastic bottle with a few liters of fuel as reserve so I approached the driver and asked him (in my non existent Portuguese) if he would sell me his reserve. He said he didn't have a fuel reserve but that if we were going to be at the sandbar for a while, he could bring me some fuel on his way back from his tour. Long story short: I gave him 20 Reals and a couple of hours later as we were packing our kiting gear he showed up with a couple of plastic bottles worth of fuel. Lesson for the kids: ask and you might be (pleasantly) surprised with what you get. And if not, not much lost. Corollary: sometime you have to trust people. The driver could have disappeared with my 20 Reals... Which, again, wouldn't have been a huge loss for me.

Help me Help you - Part 2

[N: Ariel, you already told us this story! A: No, wait, this is a bit different! BTW: Glad you are paying attention :-)]

I am often approached by entrepreneurs asking for advice. Some make it easy to help them. Some very hard. How can you help someone help you? A few suggestions:

1) Be specific. It is much easier for me to provide feedback on a specific marketing initiative, for example, or on a specific potential investor, than to answer a broad question such as "how should we go about marketing" or "who should we raise money from".

2) Do your homework. Don't ask something that you can easily learn yourself on the Internet. For example, if you are looking for an adviser with experience in pricing, you might be able to identify such a person and simply ask me for an introduction - rather than putting me to work and ask me to recommend someone.

3) Add Value. I've learned things from some very young and inexperienced entrepreneurs. I remember a specific young entrepreneur (then a college drop-out, now a successful venture capitalist after taking his company public) who would research his industry in such depth that he would know every company, product and individual in it. So, when he contacted someone in the industry asking for advice or some other help, he would also help them by sharing with them his know-how, and sometimes even making personal introductions to some of the other people that he had contacted.

Sunk Costs - And Throwing Good Money After Bad

I spent over six months negotiating with my neighbors to get their support to build a roof deck. In addition to the time, the process was also costly thanks to legal and design fees. Fortunately we reached an agreement. Unfortunately, the revised cost estimate for actually building the roof came in at twice the cost of the initial estimate. It is so high that I am debating whether to proceed. Now, after devoting so much time, energy and money to reaching an agreement with my neighbors it is tempting to proceed with the project regardless of the cost. Otherwise, all my efforts would have been for nothing. However, what I've already done is a "sunk cost". There is no point in thinking too much about it. I must focus on the future and decide whether the additional cost of the project justifies it. It is a tough call... And, ideally, I should have gotten a more accurate estimate beforehand. Unfortunately we first needed to agree on the design compromise in order to get a proper estimate.

We also spoke about throwing "good money after bad". Suppose you buy a fancy espresso machine and it breaks down. Turned out it was an unreliable machine. You might be better off throwing it away and buying a new more reliable machine than spending a lot of money fixing the old one. Or, suppose you invest in a start-up and it turns out the entrepreneurs wasted your money. It might be tempting to give them more money so that the start-up stays in business and you don't "lose" your original investment, but if the entrepreneurs are no good, it would be better to "cut your loses".

We are moving to Cabarete!

I dropped the bomb on P & N this morning that after the summer we are moving to Cabarete for one year. They took it better than I expected. N's main frustration was having to go to school in Spanish. P was worried about having a proper piano to play on. And then they were very sad about the fact that we are going to sell our SF house and look for a new place when we come back. N said he would really miss our view...

Happy April's Fool Day!

Venezuelan Chocolate

This morning I had to ask a small favor from a very busy person that I barely know. I mentioned that to C as I was about to leave the house and she suggested that I take some Venezuelan chocolate to our meeting. A small show of goodwill to get him on my side. Since I knew he has kids, I figured I could give him the chocolate for the kids... Sometimes, the little details can make a big difference.

So, did it work? Indirectly. He wasn't that excited about the chocolates but when he found out that I am from Venezuela he was all excited to talk about idiotic communists such as Chavez. Turns out he is from the Czech Republic and suffered first hand from communism. We spent some time talking about Venezuela and the Czech Republic and definitely developed a bit of a personal connection. I guess you can say that the chocolates worked - and it looks like I will get the help that I need :-).

Reap what you Sow

A is in an exchange trip in Paris. He is staying with the family of a teen who came to stay with us a month ago. When his correspondent was with us, C sent his mother frequent reports about him. She did it because she knew his family would appreciate it, but also because she hoped they would do the same when A went to stay with them. So far it seems to be working: A has been there for two days and we have gotten two reports from the family :-). Cosecharas lo que sembraste...

Jump on Opportunities

We spoke a bit about how much in life is driven by random events, or what some people would call "luck". I told the boys the story of the women who rented an extra bedroom in her house (or something like that) to the founders of Google. She is now one of Google's top executive's - and needless to say extremely wealthy. But, was it just luck? Of course not. Three key factors turn "luck" into success:

1) Being prepared. The women in the above example had an MBA from a top university and was well positioned to add value to Google. Imagine instead if she had no college degree and no appreciation for start-ups and technology. It is unlikely she would have gotten involved with the company.

2) Maximize the chances of "lucky events". What are the odds that the tenants of your extra bedroom are working on the next technology home run if you live in suburban South Dakota (I hope I am not offending anyone)? The point is that lots of the things we do impact the chances of having "good luck". Your college roommate might become the founder of Facebook or Microsoft right? Well, seems like going to Harvard increases the odds of such an event... Or, attending events, such as conferences, attended by other interesting people... Many of the serendipitous events of history can be tracked to actions that someone took that increased the odds of such an occurrence.

3) And the final point is to jump on opportunities. If you get a job offer at the next Google, will you take it right away? If you wait too long, the opportunity might disappear. And, btw, I am not referring to situations in which you are not sure the opportunity is a good one. In those, you should figure that out quickly and either accept or decline. You will get some wrong (I know I have) but those that you get right you will benefit from. Hiring people is the same: you meet someone great? Don't procrastinate or she might take another job.

Do you want me to come back later?

I was out of town at a conference and needed to sign and scan a document. I went to the conference's concierge desk and ask them if they could scan and email the document for me. They said yes, but then were taking a while to do it while trying to juggle several tasks. I couldn't keep waiting, but since they were doing me a favor I didn't know how best to tell them to hurry up. As the expression says "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth". But then it hit me. I ask the person helping me if she wanted me to come back some other time to deal with this. She realized that she had been keeping me waiting and said no, she would finish it right now, which she did. It is a pretty universal rule that the nicer you are at getting your points across the likelier people are to help you...

Help Others Help You

I was at a conference recently at which each attendee got a bag full of goodies from sponsors. During the conference I found out that I had not gotten the coolest goodie: a Bluetooth speakerphone. I went to the person handing out the bags and asked her for one. She said that unfortunately the sponsor had not given them enough and they had run out. No worries I said, here is my business card with my mailing address. After the conference she could get more from the sponsor and mail it to me. My intention was to help her solve my "problem". It wouldn't have done much good to get upset and say that I deserved one yada yada. Well, my approach worked better than I expected: I put her in a situation in which it was hard for her to say no, yet she probably didn't want to deal with the hassle of mailing something to me. So, what happened? She suddenly remembered that they might have saved a few extra goodies in the back and within a minute I had my Bluetooth speaker - which, btw, turned out to be great for hearing music when traveling :-).

When trying something is a lose-lose situation

I was telling the boys today how I have never smoked a cigarette (seriously!). I asked them to guess why and they had several good reasons, but didn't really guess the gist of the matter. I never did it because I felt it was a lose-lose proposition. Suppose I smoke a cigarette and like it. Now I have something that I like but that I know I shouldn't do because it hurts me. Not a good place to be... On the other hand what if I try it and don't like it? That is not a great outcome either right? With hindsight I think most of us would skip the things that we try and didn't enjoy. Better to leave cigarettes alone!

Too Little Too Late

After ignoring the protesters for over a week, President Mubarak of Egypt finally went on TV last night and made some minor concessions. The analysts this morning described his speech as "too little too late". Had Mubarak reacted quickly to the protests and made some significant concessions, he probably would have prevented the protests from escalating. Instead, he waited too long and let the problem get much bigger - then did not deal with it with properly. [we now know Mubarak eventually had to resign altogether].

I gave the kids other examples of this: if we start falling behind at school, the sooner we deal with the problem the better. If we wait too long the knowledge gap often becomes so large it is impossible to address it in time. Or, if we start getting out of shape or gaining weight, it might be manageable to address the situation early with some moderate exercise and a reasonable diet. But if we let the situation deteriorate we might end up needing a medical intervention or worst.

Stay ahead of the problems and they will stay small (well, at least most of the times).

Customer Economics

Had a pretty "utilitarian" chat with the boys today... I told about my visit to the optometrist yesterday. I am trying out some contact lenses and wasn't happy with the pair I had. Asked the optometrist if I could try a different brand. She suggested that I first tray a different cleaning solution with my existing contacts. I told her that she should give me both the new cleaning solution AND a new pair of contacts. Why? The contact sample don't cost much (if anything) yet her time (and mine) are pretty valuable. Why risk having to schedule a follow up visit in a few days? She agreed and gave them to me... My point to the boys: we sometimes save a little bit of money but then end up spending precious (more valuable) time as a result. Be it on ourselves or our customers.

This led us to a brief conversation about good customers vs. bad customers. The contact lens trial has a fixed cost and an unlimited number of visits and lenses that I can try to find the right ones. I'll probably end up costing money to the optometrist as I want to find the best possible lenses and I am willing to try different brands and types. Other customers probably give up after the first pair - or find some that are good enough for them. Those are great customers. Sometimes you need to factor this into the price because you can't afford the "bad" customers. Other times you are better off taking your losses with the bad customers as a trade off for more good customers. Sort of like an "all you can eat" buffet. Of course, you can try some middle ground, e.g., "one lobster per customer & no eating the sushi without the rice".

Second Guessing Yourself

A couple of days after buying some airline tickets with miles I found myself re-checking how much it would have cost to purchase them outright, and second guessing my decision of using miles to buy them. I mentioned to the boys that it was important to establish some criteria for when it made sense to second guess yourself, and when it didn't. In my case I consider:

1) Can I do something about it if I change my mind? No point in revisiting a decision about which nothing can be done, e.g., should I have gone to see that movie yesterday? On the other hand, if there is still time to do something, then it might be worthwhile to think about it. For example, A concluded he shouldn't have bought an iPad. He was able to resell and thus undo most of the "damage".

2) How significant was the decision? A major decision, such as where to go to school or where to go to work might deserve additional "analysis". But we shouldn't rethink minor things such as whether we picked the best shaving cream at the store the day before.

3) Finally, I try to avoid things that stress me, while devoting time to those that I enjoy.

The day after this conversation N came to me and told me he was second guessing his decision to cancel his WOW subscription the previos week. His friends were very disappointed he was not playing with them anymore. That was an easy one: after a bit of analysis he decided to reactive it.

In an elevator with James Cameron

P can be pretty longwinded in his explanations - I know, I know, he is only 10... Still, this morning I played a "game" with them to help them practice being concise. I told them to imagine walking into an elevator and bumping into James Cameron (they all saw and loved Avatar). He might offer them a role in his next movie, but he has a test: during the elevator ride they must describe to him a movie. Any movie. The point is, can they skip superfluos details and get all the key points? I went first and did Iron Giant. P did Pirates of the Caribbean 3, A did i Robot and I forget the movie N did [note to self: fix this after I find out]. As expected, they struggled a bit. And N in particular was frustrated. I explained that being concise is something that even most adults can't do. It takes practice, as most other things. But it is an important and worthwhile skill to pursue.

How was that? Was this entry concise enough? Maybe I could have skipped the specific movies we each did :-)...

Moments of Leverage

A mentioned that he wished his school would add rock-climbing as PE elective. I told him that now was a good time to ask the school's administration for this because he had leverage. What leverage? He is in the process of deciding which high school to attend. His school is k-12 and encourages all students to stay there for high school. They know he is considering other high schools and will make an effort to retain him. I don't know if they will go as far as adding rock-climbing to the school's program, but now is certainly the best time to try.

I mentioned to the boys that when I am trying to hire people I sometimes get pretty extreme requests: "I am almost ready to accept this position but I have an issue. I booked a month long trip to Antartica next Winter". If this person was already working at my company and was full of responsibilities I might have a hard time agreeing to him taking a month off to go to Antartica. But when I am trying to hire him, he has a lot more leverage. If that is what it will take to get him, I'll probably accept. Besides, the person doesn't yet have responsibilities - and I can even rationalize that if I don't hire him, it might take me another month to hire someone else, so I wouldn't be any better off saying no.

It is similar to when you are negotiating to buy something: before you've paid (or agreed to pay) you might get a few extras from the seller (how about a set of mats for that new car?). After you paid? You are at the seller's mercy...

One final point: A hasn't yet heard back from the other high schools that he applied to. He might not get into any of them (other than his current one). But then he might. He shouldn't wait until he gets the answers because he risks losing his leverage if he doesn't get in. Moments of leverage can be ephemeral: take them when you have them!

Chinese Mothers

I recently read a fascinating article in the paper contrasting the stereotypical "Chinese mother" with the stereotypical "American mother". Wont rehash the piece here, but basically the Chinese mother forces her kids to do what she knows is best (Get straight As, practice 3 hours of violin per day, have no sleepovers, play no computer games, etc.), while the American mother gives her children more freedom and more fun.

I suggested to the kids that we try the "Chinese" approach for a month. N went ballistic. A just gave me a smile that meant "good luck trying". P thought it was a good idea. We had an interesting conversation about the trade-offs of extra effort and sacrifices today for benefits in the future. There is no question that practicing piano for 3 hours per day wouldn't be fun for them, or that studying a lot more to get straight As wouldn't either, but there is no denying that being a better piano player and having better grades would have benefits down the road.

But is the future more important than the present? Is going to a "better" college more important than having fun in high-school? The argument for focusing on the future is that it is, to a certain extent, "unlimited". At the very least longer than the present (for most people at least). But where do you draw the line? When do you transition from saving to spending? When does the son know better than the mother? To quote my favorite band:

You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find that ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

BCC Etiquette and history

Nico saw me writing an email with someone in the BCC field. He asked me what BCC meant. Turned out none of the boys knew. They didn't know what the cc field was for either. I explained the CC field to them along with the origin of the term, at least what I think is the origin: "Carbon Copy" from the time when we used typewriters and carbon paper to make copies. I think the boys have a hard time relating to such ancient times and methods...

We then spoke about BCC. It is a somewhat delicate tool: blindly copying someone. I gave them examples of situations in which it was appropriate, such as BCC'ing someone from my own company in an external communication, or, maybe BCC'ing someone's boss/superior when you don't want them to feel like you are trying to make them look bad - but you do want their superior to be aware of the situation. I also mentioned to them the common BCC faux pais of replying to all when you are BCCed on an email. If someone BCCs you, they might not want the public recipients of the email to know about it. So don't reply to all unless you know it is OK. Just a few weeks ago someone did that to me. I found it frustrating and was incredulous that this person had been so careless.

Does Facebook have CC and BCC? If not, maybe all of this is irrelevant for my kids!

Be Careful with the Expectations that you Set

During our recent holiday we took a surfing course. The instructor agreed to pick us up the first day at 9am. Since we were in the Caribbean I assumed he would show up around 9:15am, but to my surprise he came at 9am sharp. The next day he came at 9am again. I figured it was his German origins and concluded he would be on time in the future. So when he hadn't showed up at 9:05am on the third day I got annoyed. He eventually arrived around 9:07am and was very apologetic for being so late. Truth is, seven minutes is nothing in the Caribbean - particularly for a surfing lesson! But by being on time the first two days Marcus had set up an expectation in us that he would be on time in the future? It reminded me of something that happened in the office a month ago: we have a new contractor to whom we agreed to pay Net-30, i.e., within 30 days of the end of the month. During the first week of the month one of my co-workers asked me to pay the contractor for the previous month. I said no. I said I didn't want to set the expectation in him we would pay him on the first week of the month. I suggested waiting until the 2nd or 3rd week of the month.

Sometimes it makes sense to "under-deliver" to set "appropriate" expectations and then be able to exceed them in the future.

Rip Currents

We took some surfing lessons during the holidays. The instructor explained to us what to do if we found ourselves in a rip current: don't fight it. Stay relaxed and swim sideways until there is no more current, then swim back to the beach. Last night our street reminded me of rip currents. It is a very steep street made out of bricks. When it rains some cars have a really hard time making it up. We hear their tires screeching as they try and try. They should pretend our street is a rip current and go up one of the parallel streets (which are not slippery because they are not made out of bricks). I discussed this with the boys and gave them a challenge: design a street sign that conveys the point that cars should go for a parallel street when ours is slippery. I also mentioned that many things in life are similar to rip currents. The key is to know when it is best to swim sideways for less current and when not to. We also talked about the fact that the current is not really what downs you, as it is simply moving you. People drown because they become exhausted from swimming against the current (until they can no longer thread water). Same as in many other things in life: it is often how we react to challenges that gets us in trouble, not the challenges themselves.

The Curse of Knowledge

We were reading research showing that people who speak a tonal language (such as Chinese) have better pitch than those who speak other languages (such as English). They often notice even the slightest defects in pitch, such as a guitar which is slightly off. This can be a great musical asset, but it can also be a curse: while most people enjoy a slightly off tune song by the fireplace, those able to recognize small variations in pitch are annoyed by what can amount to noise for them.

I've experienced similar situations (not related to pitch, as I am almost tone deaf!). I learned to scuba in Australia's Great Barrier Reef. That became my "reference point" for diving and now most other places feel pretty bare in comparison. Or, take sushi: after discovering and frequenting some truly amazing sushi we have a hard time enjoying sushi anywhere else. I imagine wine connoisseurs have similar experiences: a slight problem with a wine ruins it for them - while most of us don't even notice. Of course the positive side is the tremendous enjoyment we get from superb things that we are capable of appreciating: a perfectly played violin solo, an extraordinary wine or a perfectly prepared piece of fish.

I do believe there is a takeaway, or at least so I told the kids: try to build up your experiences so that you culminate on the best one. In other words: save the best for last!

Pursue your top choices first, even if they seem unlikely

I got a call from C yesterday morning: "You wont believe what just happened to me... I dropped my car keys down a storm drain! Can you please bring me the spare key?". Sure. I started driving to where she was but a few minutes before I got there she called me again: "I got the key. Someone saw what happened and figured out how to recover the key". When the key dropped down the drain, Cindy simply assumed it was lost - as did I. So we immediately went into Plan B: get the spare. Yet sometimes Plan A works, even if it seems far fetched. Don't jump into plan B without giving Plan A a fair trial...

Other examples I discussed with the kids: when I first applied to my top choice school for graduate school I was rejected. Instead of going to my second choice school I applied again - and got in. Of course sometimes Plan A is unattainable, and we need to know when to give up and move on to Plan B.

A personal matter

N was late to school yesterday and was embarrassed to tell his classmates the reason. So, he made up an "acceptable excuse" that he felt was a "Green Lie". I argued most such excuses are unnecessary, risky and plain wrong. Unnecessary because it is usually possible to provide a generic explanation such as "I was late for personal reasons". And leave it at that. "What personal reasons?". "I would rather not discuss". End of the story. No lie. No embarrassment. No risk of being caught lying. While yesterday's example was trivial, it is easy to get into the habit of making up excuses to justify our behavior. I see people who do this all the time. Instead, I encouraged the kids to get into the habit of always providing truthful explanations that contain just enough information, but not more than they want to share.

Put your oxygen mask first...

P woke up early this morning and before I had had a chance to make my morning coffee he asked me if I could toast a bagel for him. I told him I would do it after I made my coffee, as I am not fully human before my morning coffee... This reminded me of the emergency instructions on airplanes, about puting your oxygen mask on before helping kids. Spoke with the kids about this today. What are other situations in which you have to help yourself before helping others? If someone is sad or depressed, you probably need to be in a good mental state to cheer them up. Or, sometimes you have to set a good example to help others. For example, if you want to help someone do more exercise it probably helps if you do exercise yourself...

Then there are situations in which you might put yourself at risk in trying to help someone else. A few months back I was kitesurfing under the Golden Gate bridge with a friend who lost his board. I helped him recover it - which was not a big risk. Then he lost it elsewhere, and again I got his board. But when he got into a wind hole and dropped his kite I decided the smart thing to do would be to call the coast guard on his behalf - rather than get stranded with him. These decisions are not always Black & White of course... Sometimes you do need to take risks to help others (although ideally not before your morning coffee).

Avoiding Unnecessary Risks

P mentioned yesterday morning that he was taking his wallet with him to school to buy books at the school's book fair. In addition to some cash, he said he had a bunch of gift cards that he had gotten. I asked him why he would carry the gift cards with him. No good reason. That is where he stored them and he didn't feel the school was a dangerous place to take his gift cards to. I said carrying those gift cards around was an unnecessary risk. Hundreds of people attend his school every day, including many strangers. Why take the risk? He continued to argue that nobody in his school would steal them, but the next day told me he had taken the gift cards out of his wallet :-).

I told the boys that when I travel, I make a point of leaving at home unnecessary things that would be problematic or expensive to lose. And when I go on excursions, e.g., a day hike or bike ride, I often just take a bit of cash with me and leave my wallet in a safe place.

You do have to think carefully about what is a "safe place". I mentioned to the boys that soon after graduating from college I decided that my apartment was not a safe place to keep my college ring and nice watch (since I was concerned the cleaning person might steal them). So I decided to store them in my desk at work. Well, that was not very well thought out as they were stolen from there - probably by the cleaning person from the office!

Penny WIse & Pound Foolish

We usually put a lot of effort into our trips: hours of research into destinations, flights, hotels, etc. Packing tons of stuff to make the most of the trip: kitesurfing gear, board games, musical instruments, computers, books, movies, clothing... Then of course there is the expense. We try to save money where we can, and spend it where we have to. Yet sometimes we screw up and miss something important - or spend a lot on something that turns out not to be worthwhile. I was thinking about this over the Thanksgiving weekend because I put a lot of effort into having all the gear I might need in the event that the wind cooperated and we could kite. I ended up packing seven kites and two boards (not counting the two kites and board we took for my brother in law). Excesive? Maybe, but imagine going through all the trouble of this trip to Florida (hours on planes, hours in the car, etc., etc) and not be able to kite because the wind is light and I didn't bring a large kite? Sometime the little things can get you. For example, not bothering to pack the wetsuit (who needs one in Florida anyway) but then there is a cold front and you are miserable.

I realize this topic is only tangentially related to the title, but the pennies and pounds refer not just to money, but to effort as well. Besides, I almost left the boards behind to eliminate the risk of having to pay for excess luggage (I didn't). But that would have been penny wise and pound foolish: save a hundred bucks on what might deliver tons of pleasure while spending thousands the rest of the trip (air, hotel).

So kids, remember to look at the big picture: don't skip on the little things that might end up making a big difference. Don't sweat the larger expenses if they are necessary, e.g., airfares, but don't go crazy on the stuff that is unlikely to matter much...

Trou Du Cul

This summer the kids learned a French card game while at summer camp. It is called President and it has the particular characteristics that, after each round, the person who came in last in the previous round, the Trou Du Cul, must give his two best cards to the person who came in first, the President. In return he gets the President's two worst cards. The person who came in second-to-last, the Vice Trou Du Cul, gives his best card to the Vice President, in exchange he gets the VP's worst card.

We were playing this game over Thanksgiving break and I told the kids the game reminds me of many situations in life in which those who get ahead have an easier time staying ahead, while those who fall behind have a harder time catching up. Some examples? Almost in any profession, if you are involved with a successful project you are more likely to have the opportunity to work on good projects in the future - even if you just happened to be lucky about being involved with the initial successful project. Or take school: do well during the first day of the year and the teachers will assume you are a good student and cut you some slack in the future. On the flip side, do poorly and they might asume the contrary... And one a more personal (and physical) example, start a sailboat race ahead and you block the wind from the boats behind. You can stay ahead even with a slightly slower boat.

The Pain to Pleasure Ratio

I recently spent many hours in planes, airports and cars to go kite for a couple of days. I've been thinking about the ratio of "travel time" to "fun time". So I asked the kids this morning for their opinions: how many hours and how much effort is justified for a few hours of fun?

No easy answers but a good discussion... We concluded that it depends on how special the fun is. For example, some people will train for months and spend millions of dollars to go to space for a few hours. But going into space is obviously VERY special. The other factor is the nature of the effort. For example, C trained for months to climb Mount Whitney (a 16 hour ordeal). But the months of training were part of the experience, a net positive, as opposed to being stuck in planes and airports, which is obviously a huge pain.

We also spoke about the risk that all the effort might be wasted, such as when there is no wind in a kiting trip or bad weather in a climbing expedition. The same principle applies: if the end goal is really worthwhile it is worth the risk.

I asked the boys to think of something special they would be willing to spend a lot of time on planes to do. N said going to Yosemite. Then Cabarete. P said snowboarding. A said doing an awesome free climb.

Shades of Grey

P was upset because we allowed N to do something then didn't allow him to do the "exact same thing". The reality was that the circumstances were very different, but he was only looking at the similarities. I encouraged them to look at all the factors and circumstances when comparing situations. For example, N recently played his favorite song of the moment on the home stereo. P complained he was sick and tired of hearing that song and asked N to change it. Because we had already heard that song several times that day, and it is a song that can indeed be annoying (So Long and Thanks for All the Fish from the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Soundtrack) I sided with P and changed the song. However, when A played a song and N asked him to change it I sided with A because it was not a song we had heard recently and it was not a particularly long or annoying song.

Another example: a complaint from one of the kid's teachers might result in the loss of computer privileges if it follows poor grades or other complaints. A similar complaint might not have consequences if it is isolated. Similar complaints, different circumstances.

Of course certain situations are "Black & White". And we sometimes establish some very clear rules. But it seem more often than not, there are shades of Grey to consider...

Momentum

A recently decided to sell his ipad. He put an add on Craigslist and got a few inquiries. Initially he replied to all and had some serious potential buyers. He thought that a particular buyer was going to work out but when the buyer backed out, A did nothing for days. The other potential buyers cooled off. He lost his "momentum"...

I spoke to the kids about the importance of maintaining momentum. Be it in a negotiation, a tennis match, a painting, a homework or a relationship. If things are going your way don't lose your momentum. It is often just like in the physical world: once you get that heavy object moving it is much easier to keep it moving than it would be to get it moving from a standstill. I told them that the formula for momentum was weight times speed. So, the heavier the object (or the bigger the task) the harder to change its velocity, and the more important it is to take advantage of any momentum we might have.

The flip side is that when things are not going our way, e.g., losing a sports match, a pause might help, as it might eliminate the momentum against us.

Deal with difficult issues right away

I told the kids about a recent situation in one of the companies I work with. Several months ago a board member asked the CEO to do something that the CEO didn't want to do. The CEO didn't want to argue either, so he made a compelling case for postponing that action for a month. After the month went by, the board member asked again. The CEO made another (different) compelling argument for waiting another month. Now two months have gone by and the board member has no more patience. The CEO calls me and tells me the bottom line is he doesn't want to do what the board member is asking for. Yet the CEO is in a very bad position. He had already agreed, twice, to do what the board member wanted. He had just asked for a delay. If he now says he doesn't want to do it he comes across as disingenuous - like he didn't really meant it when he argued for delays. Like he was just looking for excuses. He would have been in a much better position to make his case for not doing the action when it was first brought up.

We are often tempted to find easy excuses for not doing things we don't want to do - instead of confronting people. "I can't go because I don't have an umbrella"... "Don't worry about it. I have an extra umbrella". Much better to "bite the bullet" early on, be truthful and deal with the situation before we have gotten ourselves into a corner.

Speedy Boarding

I recently flew on EasyJet. One of EasyJet's options is to pay an extra $10 to get on the plane before other passengers (thus pick a better seat). I find this offer very appealing and am surprised so few people take advantage of it. On this particular flight we had to board using a bus that would drive us to the tarmac in front of the plane. When they called the "Speedy Boarding" passengers to the bus (maybe 15 of us) I thought "great! I get to board the bus before other passengers but that wont do me much good getting on the plane before them". Yet EasyJet did something very clever: after the 15 of us boarded the bus the driver came and told us which gate he would use to let passengers into the plane. "Get close to this gate and you'll be the first ones onto the plane". A very low tech solution but one that worked :-).

Dead Fish

I told the boys about a speech I once heard from a pioneer of the PC industry (Fred Gibbons, the developer of the first desktop publishing software for PCs). A very humble individual Fred said that he succeeded simply because he was sailing in a fast rising tide, i.e., the early days of the PC industry. He said, "when the tide rises, even dead fish go up with it". I am sure there was more to it to his success, yet his point is a good one. When deciding what to do, and this is not just professional, it can be about a sport, a hobby, music, politics, etc, picking a "rising tide" can be a huge advantage.

It is not always obvious which tides are rising and which sinking, particularly early on. It usually pays off to wait a bit to be relatively sure. You might miss the benefits of being super early, but big tides often go up for a while.

Of course the top priority should be to do whatever we enjoy and believe in. I don't subscribe to the philosophy of picking the fastest riding tide regardless of how we fill about it. But often we can sail the boat we like in many oceans, so we might as well pick a rising one...

Delivery Crabs

I had the funniest dream ever! We had ordered chinese food and it was delivered to us by specially trained crabs. Yes, big & Red crabs! They came with the white boxes of food hanging from their claws. They then waited patiently for me to pay them (cash only). As I was sorting our the cash I dropped several bills to the floor and the crab picked them up. "No, no. That is not it. I don't even know how much money there is there. Please give them back". The crab dropped the bills on the floor and expectantly waited again for the money. Whifff...

Has to be the funniest dream I've ever had.

Note: Sorry to C for waking her up to tell her my dream. Wanted to make sure I didn't forget it.

RED Weekend in LA

We went to LA for the weekend for a weeding. I ask the boy this morning which things they enjoyed the most and the least. Not surprisingly, going to see the movie RED was at the top of the list. I used to feel bad about "wasting" time at a movie when traveling, but I've realized what matters the most is not seeing the most tourist attractions, but having a great time. And kids love going to the movies no matter where they are. Besides, LA is "movie town" so it felt appropriate :-). N enjoyed the hotel's pool, even thought he only used it for 10 minutes. P enjoyed seeing C's old lab at UCLA (and crystal through the microscope). They all enjoyed rollerblading on Venice Beach and in generale just "going to LA". The didn't like not being able to attend the wedding (it was adults only), and having no weekend left in SF.

What about me? I mostly enjoyed seeing friends & eating at our favorite Cuban restaurant. And I hated the traffic and the flight delays.

Getting Ahead of Ourselves

A spent a bunch of time researching the computer he plans to buy on his birthday (in 4+ months). I told them we should be careful about getting ahead of ourselves. For example, spending a lot of time planning an event that might not even happen. Or spending a bunch of time planning a purchase so far in advance that our research might become obsolete by the time we are ready to purchase (or, we might change our minds and not purchase anything eventually). Or, planning how to spend some money that we might not even get...

Of course, sometimes these things can be fun. I remember spending two years doing research into which sailboat to buy. I didn't want to purchase anything because the shopping was so much fun! And the research often pays off (it did in the case of the boat). But fun aside, it can be a big waste of time (and sometimes worst) when we get ahead of ourselves.

[Update: a month after this conversation A decided he wont buy a new computer after all]

Decisions, Decisions

I am grappling with a small "dilema" and asked the kids for advice: I need to purchase new kites (for kitesurfing). After a lot of research I chose a brand and model only to find out that they just released their 2011 models and have a 3 month backlog. Problem is we have two holiday (Thanksgiving & Christmans) when I was hoping to use the new kites. I tracked down some 2010 kites still available, but the cost would be comparable to the newer ones, which I would get in January. So, do I buy the 2010 kites to have them for the trips? Do I order the 2011a and find some alternative for the trips, e.g., rent something, or, do I order my second choice kites, which do have 2011 units available? Life or death stuff...

N thought I should get the 2010s so that I could have them for the trips. P thought I should wait for the 2011s, since whatever I buy I will keep for a long time, so better to be very happy with them. A wasn't paying attention to me (he will have to go on the back seat for the next week as a consequence!).

I am still trying to get a 2011 in time...

The Courtesy of a "Heads Up"

A missed an afternoon of school last week to got tour a prospective high school. We asked the previous day to send an email to the teachers' whose classes he was going to miss giving them a heads up. He refused, saying there was no need, as his classmates would just tell the teachers, if they asked, that he was gone to check out a high school. Today I talked to the boys about the importance of giving people a "heads up". People really appreciate it if at the beginning of a meeting (or class or phone call) one says "I might need to leave early because...", or "I might need to take a phone call". A simple heads up lets you get away with stuff that would be pretty rude otherwise, such as taking a call in the middle of a meeting, or leaving in the middle of a class.

The same principle applies to delivering bad news. The more heads up the better. For example, if you do poorly in a test but don't tell your parents. Then don't share the test results with them. But wait until the teachers drops the bomb at the parent-teacher conference, your parents are likely going to be very upset (and probably take away some of your privileges). If instead, you give your parents a heads up the day of the test "mom, I had a math test today in which I think I did poorly", then the consequences once you share the test results with your parents are likely to be much less severe. By sharing the info early you showed you cared. You were honest, and, you lowered expectations...

X Prize

Met someone from the X Prize Foundation last night. Very cool organizations. They create $10MM prizes to encourage research and development into worthy goals that might otherwise not be financially viable e.g., space vehicles, affordable genomes, fuel efficient cars. This "prize" approach has being gaining popularity because it is highly leveraged: instead of giving the $10MM to directly fund research and development, the prize generates many times that amount of work funded by those who want to win the price. A bit like a lottery (which as we all know, is such a profitable model only governments can do it!). Another analogy the kids are familiar with is Threadless, which pays a few thousand dollars each week to the winning design for a t-shirt, but gets dozens, if not hundreds of designs for free...

Bring the t-shirt if it is warm

P was wearing a long sleeve shirt and asked me to tell C to bring him a t-shirt to soccer practice "if the day got hot". I called here, in front of him, and told her to bring him a t-shirt. No conditionals. P said, she only needs to do it if it gets hot. I told him that it was better if she simply brought the shirt. Otherwise, what if he thought it was a hot day but she didn't? In general, it is a bad idea to agreements based on subjective criteria, like whether the weather is hot or not. And even some apparently objective criteria van become subjective. For example, is it night or day during the sunset hours? Is it raining or not when it is drizzling?

Bad Referees...

Over the weekend P had two soccer matches. I watched the first on which his team played great and won. I didn't watch the second one in which the referee was so biased he made them lose 3 to 1... Or so P says. I wasn't there, so I don't really know. Still, I spoke with the kids about not blaming external factors for their failures. Even if those factors are true, it is usually better to focus on the things we could have done better. Why? Well, for one, we might learn something and do better in the future when faced again with a bad referee. But also we avoid coming across as "sore losers". We cause a better impression on others when we show humility and openness to learning than when we blame others for everything and don't acknowledge ant faults on our end.

P said the problem with my suggestion was that people would think we were bad (soccer players). I answered that most people can assess how good or bad we are without our explanations as to why things went the way they did. Our explanations have a much bigger impact on people assessments of our character than our skills. P insisted that wasn't always the case. For example, what if I am interviewing a candidate for a job and he blames himself for a past problem. Wouldn't I think he was weak and not hire him? I explained that before hiring people I do reference checks, and that a candidate who blames external factors for something he had responsibility for wont do well once I check his story... On the other hand. someone who shows me he has learned and improved will do much better.

Provide the right level of detail for your audience

P started to tell me about the latest video game he had played. A complained and asked if we had to listen to this. My initial reaction was going to be to say "yes, P wants to tell us about this so we should listen" but P was giving me some very detailed information that was not very interesting to A. So I actually spoke about the importance of being brief and focus on the "important" stuff. It obviously depends on the situation: I am sure some of P's friends enjoy hearing every last detail of the video game, but one must asses one's audience and provide the appropriate level of detail for it. In this situation, P was giving more details than we cared to hear... Imagine a neurosurgeon talking with some non doctors. It would not be appropriate for him to get into the scientific details of his latest surgery. His audience would probably not even understand. Yet if he was talking with a fellow neurosurgeon, then obviously more details would be appropriate.

Getting Unbiased Advice

We spoke about how to make sure that the advice you are getting is unbiased:

- If the person would benefit from your decision then you should watch out. Some situations are pretty obvious, e.g., a salesman. But others less so. For example, I would benefit from great families joining my kids school, so anyone getting advice from me about schools needs to consider that.

- If the person doesn't provide a balanced view, with pros and cons, but only gives your pros (or cons) that is a Red flag.

- If they don't have real experience in the subject matter. How well do they really understand the issues? I mentioned that how confident and authoritative someone sounds is not correlated that how knowledgeable he is. Yet, unfortunately, we tend to assume it is. Don't let those who sound the most confident about their opinions influence you more than others.

- Try to get a large enough sample of opinions.

- Try to find people who share your values and points of view.

Endeavor

This week I spent a couple of days at an Endeavor (www.endeavor.org) event. Endeavor is a fabulous organization that supports entrepreneurs in many developing countries, e.g., Argentina, Chile, Jordan, South Africa. They had their selection panel to choose the entrepreneurs they will help this year and I was invited to be a judge. It is terrific to meet entrepreneurs from all over the world. I told the kids about it...

Saving Intangibles

Over the weekend we had a conversation with A about his grades and the need to at least match the class average. Obviously, it would be ideal if he was at the top of the class, but that is up to him. The conversation was about the "minimum" that we expected from him (long story for another post)... We mentioned that what mattered was his running average, so he should try to get more than the class average as often as possible so that if he had a bad day and got a lousy grade once, his average would still be above the class average. In other words, he should "save" points.

In the car I ask the boys about other "intangibles" that one can save. N said food, which didn't qualify as an intangible :-). P said friends, which is also not intangible, but closer. He said it was good to have many friends in case some moved out of town (his best friend moved to the East Coast last year). One of them said "love", and I said that giving lots of love, besides being great, probably accumulated "goodwill" for you. Which was a good things for that they in which you misbehave...

I mentioned that sleep was unfortunately something that apparently we can't save: sleeping fo 24 hours straight wont help you stay awake the next day! Other intangibles you can save? vacation days (or, in their case, lack of absences from school).

Don't use my board game!

We have been playing a cool strategy board game that P got for his birthday. The other night P came down to the kitchen and found C & I playing the game by ourselves. He immediately took the board away (ruining our game) and told us we had no permission to use his game. I am still trying to decide whether it makes sense for me to have to ask P for permission to use his board games. After all, the kids use the "common" board games without permission... But that is not my point today. Instead, I told the kids how P could have handled the situation much better in the following way:

- Calmly tell C & I that he would prefer if we ask for permission before we use his board game.
- Asking if we could put it away, or at least move it away from the kitchen table where he was worried it would get dirty.

Basically, being polite he would achieved his goal without alienating us and making us feel that next time he asked us to play the game we might refuse... No matter what you want from people, in general, a polite accommodating request generates better results - not to mentioned that it is the proper thing to do regardless

Who created the Internet?

N asked me "Who invented the Internet?". Told him about universities connecting their mainframes, the military creating a redundant network, physicists at linear accelerators collaborating, Tim Berners Lee inventing the Web... N wanted to know how rich Berners Lee was. Told him I din't know but that I thought he was very happy working at MIT, being a knight, and hanging out with all sorts of interesting people.

Changing Behaviors with Tricks

N is training his new bird Martin. Spoke with the boys about using "tricks" rather than "brute force" to modify behavior (of either animals or people). Repeating "No, Martin. Don't bite my watch " rarely works. Yet keeping him away from your watch solves the problem. I had a German Shepherd when I was a boy. I got him to seat when I yelled "seat" at him, but I was having a really hard time training to get up when I yelled "stand". Until I heard of a trick: wait for him to get up on his own, and as he was doing so, yell "stand". It worked like a charm! After a while he associated "stand" with getting up and would follow my instructions :-).

What about people? Well, instead of lecturing someone about eating less, how about not having junk food around and serving small healthy portions in dinner plates? Oh, yes, and staying busy avoids the eating to fight boredom problem. No need for lectures...

If a "behavior change" is all you are after, there is no need to get the person (or animal) to internalize some deep principle. Just make it easy for the to "do the right thing".

The Little Things that Get You

A tiny cut in my pinky toe almost ruined a recent kiting trip. While I was very careful about the big risks (wore a helmet, launched the kite always over the water, etc) I initially ignored this tiny cut which got infected and made it really painful to ride. Fortunately, I kept it under control with lots of tape and local antibiotics, but it reminded me of the importance of paying attention to the little things. I told the kids the story of Al Capone, who was careful to cover his murders and bribes, but got thrown in jail for the much less serious offense of not paying his taxes. Great explorers and athletes have also gotten in trouble from ignoring little things: climbing high treacherous peaks only to die of infection from a small cut; bike riding a steep mountain only to fall in the parking lot and break a bone (or two).

Don't lower your guard during the "easy" periods and don't ignore the little things.

Unplanned experiences

One of the most memorable experiences of our summer occurred when a street performer asked N to help him with his act. N is a natural born actor and clown and pretty much stole the act from the street performer (proud parent perspective, of course ;-). It was a much more memorable experience than the carefully planned bike ride through the countryside. What is the takeaway? Some of the best things in life can be serendipitous and improvised. Yes the story is a bit more complicated than that... We didn't randomly encounter that street performer. We purposefully went to an interesting neighborhood and in particular to an area where we knew there were street performers. We then were fortunate to encounter a particular performer who chose and clicked with N. Had we just stayed home no amount of luck would have resulted in such a memorable experience... So, put yourself in situations in which interesting things are more prone to happen... And, don't give up entirely on planned activities. While not all of them live up to our expectations, some do - and wont occur serendipitously.

Back to School!

Kids are back at school so the driving (& blogging) resume. Do summer vacations need to be this long in 2010? Is it the teachers' unions that keep them this long? Don't get me wrong, summer vacations are great. I just think a couple of months would be plenty... Besides, teachers and children could probably use the extra time.

Anyway, I did a repeat topic today: first impressions. I know if was a repeat not because I remembered doing it, but because the boys immediately knew the importance of first impressions when I asked them about it. Seemed relevant for the first day of school...

Vacations: having fun vs. checking sites off the list

The kids are on summer vacation... Last week a Spanish friend was in town. His second time in SF. He was comparing his first "touristy" visit with the current "hang out with friends" visit. I asked the boys what they thought would be more fun: visiting the tourist sites or simply hanging out with friends. They thought hanging out with friends would be more fun, and I agreed. On our recent trip to China our best day was probably the one in which we simply hanged out with friends... You still get to enjoy new places, but without the stress and in good company.

We also spoke a bit about vacation planning in general. We used to be more ambitious and try to pack a lot into our trips. But we've concluded the purpose of holidays is not to "check" places off a list, but to have a good time and enjoy new (or known) places. So we now don't try to do as much - and have a much better time...

A couple of years ago I was having a Skype conversation with a work colleague who was at the office in SF. I confessed that I was on a sailboat in the middle of a beautiful bay in the island of Menorca, and I sent him a picture of the place. His initial reaction was to ask "how can you be working in such a place?", to which I responded that "working" in such a place was a pleasure. I didn't have to "focus" on being on vacation to enjoy it...

Getting the advice that is right for you

I've been trying to learn to jibe on my kiteboard for a while without much success. I took a lesson but the advice I got from the instructor didn't help much. I then asked a pro rider and he gave me better advice, but still I fell down into the water most times I tried. Finally a third person, who had himself learned to jibe recently, gave me a few tips and I got it right away! Take aways:

- When learning something, it sometimes helps to hear different perspectives. What works for some people might not work for others. You need to find the approach that works for you.

- Experts are not always the best teachers. Sometimes the task at hand comes so natural to them that they have not really given much thought to the mechanics of how they do it. The instructor, for example, was telling me to do it one way but then I noticed that he was doing it differently!

- If at first your don't succeed... Keep trying. Perseverance usually pays off. But don't hit your head against the wall repeatedly. Look for new approaches.

Always have some margin for error

I drove the kids to Skyhigh in Santa Clara today, so plenty of talk time... The first conversation we had was about always having margin for error. For example, yesterday I picked up my friend E who came from Berkley via BART. I could have tried to pick him up right in front of the BART station on Market street, but, there is nowhere to park there, so it would have been a hassle if he was not right there when I got there. Instead, I asked him to walk a block to a place where I knew I would be able to park if necessary.

Another example: during the Vietnam War the Americans used M16s while the Vietnamese used the "inferior" AK47. The M16 was lighter and more accurate, yet it had no "margin for error" when it came to dirt and mud. M16s would jam due to all the dirt that got into them while AK47s worked just fine all dirty - as they were less "precise" machines with more room for error...

Don't give up right away

A was telling me a few days ago that he might have made a mistake by buying an ipad instead of a macbook - as he wants to get into programming for the iphone, for which he need a mac. I mentioned to him this morning that I found out yesterday that all Bay Area Apple stores are sold out of the ipad so that he can probably resell his ipad for the same amount he paid. I doubt he will do it - as he enjoys the ipad too much - but I took advantage of the occasion to tell the kids about the importance of not giving up right away when we think we made a mistake or can't get what we want. Turns out that he might be able to "return" the ipad and get a macbook if he wants. Just needed to make an effort (and have a bit of luck). I told them a couple of other examples: I recently bought a pair of waterproof headphones and found out a few days after I got them that the manufacturer had just released a headset version that would be better for me. Instead of saying, "bad luck, oh well", I contacted the manufacturer and asked if I could return the one I had bought (given the circumstances). They agreed. Another example would be to arrive to a store or restaurant a few minutes after they closed. Rather than turning around and leaving, knocking on the door and asking nicely might still get you in.

Subconscious Fiction & Emotional Music

As we got going this morning a very sad (classical) song was playing on the radio. I mentioned to the kids how amazing it was that instrumental music could convey such string emotions - I literally wanted to cry! A actually recognized the piece as one from Episode 2: Attack of the Clones (which the radio confirmed to be true). We couldn't remember the actual scene, but it must have been someone dying or leaving...

On a totally different subject: when P return from his trip to Catalina a couple of weeks ago he told me, and he was very upset about this, that he had lost his camera. He had it in his short's pocket where he was also storing rocks, and he left it open after adding some rocks, so the camera fell. That was that until this morning when we found the camera in a pocket of his suitcase (which we hadn't completely emptied). Turns out what we often "remember" is our subconscious filling the blanks. Paco remembered having his camera in his pocket and he remembered leaving his pocket empty and he remembered not finding his camera, so his subconscious filled the blanks with the camera falling from his pocket - and it made a tight memory that his conscious mind "remembered" totally unaware of his subconscious' fictional abilities... Not sure if this is true, but I said this was probably the result of natural selection: humans whose mind carefully recorded every second into an actual detailed memory were probably so busy dealing with memories they didn't react quickly when the tiger came... What was the benefit of recording in memory every second of a day hunting and gathering?

Don't trust your own memories!

Discoveries - Going on a Limb

Sunday was C's dad's birthday. The plan was to have a picnic and C vaguely remembered picnic tables near the Palace of the Legion of Honor. We headed that way but couldn't find the tables. Initially we were frustrated and somewhat upset at ourselves for not planning better. But after a bit of driving around, asking around and some Google searching we discovered a terrific place: Fort Miley. Awesome views of the ocean, no crowds, large grassy are next to the tables. The lesson? Sometimes you have to go out on a limb to discover great new things. If you just stick to what you know you'll miss out on lots of great things. It is like with food: you could just eat the few things you know you like over and over, but wont discover great new flavors. You'll strike out sometimes, but that is the price to pay...

Poker & Excuses

P was frustrated because a friend didn't invite him to his birthday party. Apparently other kids convinced the birthday boy not to invite P because P is the best poker player in his class and he would win the top price from the party's poker tournament. This statement from P prompted a bunch of feedback from me:

1) Don't say "I am the best poker player in the grade". Even if it is true, it comes across as arrogant. You can say you are a good poker player, or maybe one of the best.

2) Don't believe the reasons people give you for why they did something. Often people don't know themselves why the did something, yet when asked why they rationalize it and make up a reason that they often believe to be the truth - but it was conceived after the fact. And when people do know why they did something, they often rather give a more "comfortable" explanation than the truth.

Back Up Plans

Last week A was stranded in Italy on a study trip with his school - thanks to the Iceland volcano. His flights got canceled and they got rebooked for a few days later. A couple of days before the new flights it was still uncertain whether they would be canceled or not. I asked the school administration what their back-up plan was in case one of the new flights got canceled. They didn't have one. They were hoping the new flights would not get canceled and would work on a new plan if they were.

I discussed with the kids the value of having a "Plan B" in place ahead of time. A great example of when that might have helped was our trip to St Lucia over Spring Break. There was a storm in Atlanta where we had to change planes and as we waited for our flight to Atlanta and Delta said the flight was on time we were skeptical. Yet we didn't do anything about it. When half an hour before the departure time they all of a sudden told us the flight had been canceled we had to scramble to find an alternative. Fortunately we quickly found a Virgin America flight online and ran (literally) to their terminal to barely make the flight. Yet, we could have been looking at flight alternatives while waiting for the Delta flight and would have been in much better shape - and not have to run.

Hope for the best... But prepare for the worst!